This is ambivalence in motion,
A journey through the heart’s labyrinth,
Where each step brings both clarity and confusion,
Yet, in this dance of contradictions, I find myself,
Whole and halved, embracing the unknown.

Ambivalence in motion —
a dance of duality,
mourning what was never mine,
grieving a future that never came to pass.
I smile at moments wrapped in nostalgia,
an ebb and flow of frustration and fear, faith, forgiveness, and favour.

In contemplation of reconciliation,
there lie two endings—
one carved of faith and love,
the other a fantasy,
a whispered dream.

Remembering a touch,
a kiss, the embrace,
the connection, chemistry, and communication.
A craving for more,
is it forbidden?
Is it frowned upon?

Aware of the contrasting characters in the present,
a misunderstanding, clashing egos.
One experience, yet different realities.

Are we listening to learn,
to love and understand?
Or merely hearing,
to move on and close the door?

We know what we know,
and don’t know what we don’t.
It’s all real,
and they coexist,
a myriad of thoughts,
feelings and emotions.
A mixture of risks and chances.

A plethora of realizations,
revelation and reflection,
swirling with “what ifs,”
“how abouts,” and “would it be possibles.”
“I liked it when”,
and “I remember how”.

This is the ending of a dance,
an ambivalent one,
a journey through the heart,
where longing and acceptance meet,
where I find myself,
alive in the moment,
yet reaching for the untouchable.

Love Aicha [eye-sha]